Protecting your energy from manipulators isn’t about being cold, it’s about recognising the signs before they even open their mouth. You can call it intuition, hyper-vigilance, being psychic, having a trauma response. Or you might think it’s just being street smart. I don’t care which box you try to shove it in. The truth is, I see people’s intentions before they’ve even decided how they’re going to word their request.
I hear it in the shift of their tone. I feel it in their energy. I smell it in the hesitation before they ask. I just fucking know, OK. Don’t ask me why. I just do!
So when some random Nigerian-Italian man staying at the same Airbnb as me came dancing around the question, trying not to make it obvious. I already knew what was coming.
He didn’t want a chat. He didn’t want to “connect” because we both happened to be spiritual people. He wanted me to book him a night at the Airbnb. Out of my own pocket. For a stranger. A man I didn’t know from Adam, who thought being “nice” and “spiritual” made me a soft touch.
No, mate. Absolutely not. Cheeky fucker. I clocked you 20 minutes ago. I might have a kind face and soft energy, but don’t confuse that with being stupid. Or desperate. Or naïve.
He even offered to leave me his passport. Like what, I’m supposed to be flattered by your trust? I didn’t ask for your ID. I didn’t ask to be part of your life and I sure as shit didn’t invite your money problems into mine.
Here’s the thing people don’t seem to get: kindness does not equal free access. Empathy isn’t an open door. Being spiritually connected doesn’t mean I’ll subsidise your lack of personal responsibility.
Is it because I carry myself with integrity, that people think I must be “doing alright for myself.” Or worse, that these people think that they’re entitled to a piece of whatever it is that I’ve got? The entitlement of others is real kids!
This isn’t a new thing for me. My energy has always been magnetic to people who think they’re being clever. They think they’ve spotted a generous soul and assume it’s theirs for the taking. What they’re actually seeing is someone who’s already walked through the fire and knows exactly what manipulation smells like. You can’t finesse someone who’s had to survive off sheer grit and nerve.
I’ve had “friends” use me. Family that expect everything from me yet they give nothing in return. I’ve had business contacts try to squeeze free labour out of me. Now it’s random men at an Airbnb who think that I’ll cover their rent! It’d be laughable, if it wasn’t so fucking insulting.
Let me say this plainly:
If your survival plan involves emotionally manipulating someone into rescuing you, then you really need a better fucking plan.
I’ve done the rescuing thing before. I’ve paid for people. Cooked for them. Supported them. Built them up. Then every single time I was left to carry the weight of that connection on my own. They took what they could, then vanished, or worse, they just turned on me when I stopped being “useful.”
Fuck You!
That’s not happening anymore!
I’m not cold. I’m not bitter. I’m wise and you don’t get to decide what that looks like.
You don’t get to guilt me for saying no to something I never agreed to. You don’t get to project your broken worldview onto me and expect me to play the therapist and the sugar mummy all in one breath.
So let’s just be clear: intuition isn’t just about “vibes.” It’s data. It’s years of observing, sensing, knowing when someone is about to cross a line and deciding not to let them.
So if you’re reading this and you’ve got someone in your life who keeps pushing, keeps hinting, keeps trying to pull a favour without ever offering respect?
Just say no. Say NO again and then say it a bit louder for the people at the back!
Say it without apology. You don’t owe anyone your energy just because they’re persistent or polite about it. Tell them to fuck off!
You’re not stupid for having a soft heart.
But you’re not wrong for putting a fence around it, either.
How about the man who asked me to book him a room?
The answer was no. It’s still no. It will be forever a fuck no! Don’t spend your money on someone who thinks being nice means being stupid.
Why?
Because I’m not stupid. I’m sovereign!
